Moving opens more doors than we realize

Often when we make a big move, like ours from Vermont to Arizona, we focus only on the problems:  packing up all our stuff, deciding what to keep and what to give away or sell, figuring out where the grocery store is located, getting lost driving to the post office, meeting new people, finding a job.

As I was talking with a friend this past week, she commented that this move has opened up doors and opportunities that I never expected.

Because I'm working fewer hours, I have time to take webinars, clean out my email inbox, and I even signed up for a digital photography class at the local community college.

Living in unfamiliar surroundings gives me the opportunity to learn about the area. I love history, and the first book I checked out of the library before we even had any furniture except a mattress was a history of Arizona by Marshall Trimble. When I heard that Trimble was performing at the Palace, one of the oldest frontier saloons in Arizona and located in historic Whiskey Row (downtown Prescott - that's another story), we invited a couple we recently met to join us.

I bet most parents have boxes of their kids' artwork, school papers, and childhood memorabilia stored away in the attic or basement. Now that I have time, and need to find a home for these boxes, I've started actually opening them up and going through the contents. Yesterday I found a folder of Duncan's 5th grade writing projects and read through each:  stories about his dog, Jasper; letters to penpals describing his life as a soccer player, reports of a vacation we took to Cozumel, and the dreams of a 10 year old looking forward 30 years into the future.

A large part of my work focuses on helping people figure out how to make changes in their life. I've found that moving makes this process of change much easier, because almost everything in my life is also changing. I can develop new routines, and decide what routines are important to me and which I can let go. I remind my clients that changing our habits involves everyone around us, and requires friends and family to get used to our new routines. Because I've moved thousands of miles away, the people I meet in Arizona don't have any expectations of who I am or my routines.

Of course we don't have to physically move to a new location to make these types of changes, but moving makes the process easier.

How many times in our life do we truly have the opportunity to think about the person we want to be, and put those changes into practice? I remember going to college and thinking that because I know absolutely no one in Vermont (I grew up in Indiana), I could be whoever I wanted. I told our boys when they went to college that this is a rare opportunity to give themselves permission to change things up and live their lives differently.

The door to our house and my life in Vermont closed, and the door to our house and life in Arizona opened. Who knows what's around the next corner?

Shaking up routines

I've been reading about how habits and routines shape our lives, primarily so that we don't have to think through every detailed step in hundreds of activities that take place each day. We have a morning routine so we don't have to think:  which side of the bed do I get up on? Do I take a shower before I eat breakfast or after? Which route do I drive to work?

Moving throws many of those old habits and routines out the window. Not all of them:  I always sleep on the side of the bed closest to the bathroom and unless I'm exercising first thing, I shower first and then eat breakfast.

A big part of the stress - and fun - of moving is developing new routines. One of my neighbors encouraged me to try a new activity or group three times before deciding if that group or activity is right for me. In the past few days, I've tried several new things that may be surprising to people who know me:

Yesterday I took a pickleball class. I'm not usually a person who takes group exercise classes, participates in competitive activities (I run in races, but I'm not competing against anyone except myself), or plays sports that require hand-eye coordination. My family played tennis when I was young, but my version of tennis involves more laughter than balls hit expertly over the net. Pickleball as far as I can tell is a combination of badminton, tennis and ping-pong. It's the second most popular activity here in Prescott Lakes, right behind golf. Not only did I have fun in the class, I met two new people and we got together today to practice.

That's another new thing for me:  inviting people I've just met to do something with me. I've been doing a lot of this:  inviting a neighbor to go for a walk, asking a couple we met to join us for dinner theatre, and I even sent someone I've never even met in person a Facebook message, asking her to go for a run with me.

For the past several years I haven't made the time for knitting, crocheting or cross-stitch embroidery, activities I loved from the time I was young. My daily routine revolved around work and exercise, and the only time I did anything creative was when I decided to make a gift. That usually entailed late nights filled with frantically trying to finish the project on time instead of a relaxing and enjoyable hobby. I'm starting to develop an evening cross-stitching routine; of course the sampler is one I started in 1998 (I only know this because the '98' portion of the date is completed) but it feels good to sit and stitch instead of working in front of the computer.

I actually started cleaning the house every day. For the past 20+ years our house was messy, lived-in, and definitely not cleaned on any type of schedule. I vacuumed only when the dust balls were large enough I could see them rolling across the floor, cleaned the bathrooms only when I noticed an off odor, and dusted only right before company came to visit. Since we've moved, I've cleaned the bathrooms once each week, used a dust mop on the wood floors without seeing dust balls, swiffered the tile floors without any muddy footprints, and cleaned the cooktop every single time I've used it.

I wonder if I'll fall back into my old habits and routines of too much work, too little down-time, and a messy house; or if this move across country is the start of some truly new and different routines.